2001-04-09 - 2:10 p.m.

I am not self-assured.

I am not absolutely comfortable with myself.

I doubt.

I worry.

I am unambitious.

I am lazy.

I look at other women and compare myself to them.

I do not treat my body with respect because I eat too much and do not exercise.

I am a bit conceited.

I am a bit manipulative.

I am a bit jealous.

I procrastinate.

I want.

I wish.

I desire.

I need.

I should.

I shouldn't.

I flaunt myself.

I hide myself.

I dream.

I hate myself .

Yet.

I love myself as well.

Why are things so simple yet complicated?

Why can't I follow my heart?

Why can't I follow through?

Why can't I just be myself and be happy?

Because I can always improve.

I can be better.

I should be better.

Fuck.

I vow it to myself.

I WILL BE BETTER.

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