March 2001 Collab for Just Another Collab:
Embarrassment
My List Of Embarrassing Moments -
Tripping over my own feet...although I try to place the blame on whomever is walking with me...sort of that he/she tripped me by accident.
Getting food stuck between my teeth. My mouth is a terror when I eat a slice of oreganoed pizza. A mirror is supremely necessary to carry around with you for public dining moments.
Lipstick caking on your lips or smeared on your teeth. Disgusting and uncomfortable. This problem is solved permanently being that I go au natural nowadays. Besides, lipstick tastes and feels awful to both me and my honey.
Being unable to fill a balloon up with my breath. I have tried. Really. I cannot do it. Damn this must be a genetic defect or something.
I was heading out the shopping mall once. I wasn't paying full attention to my surroundings and didn't notice that the glass wall in front of me was indeed a wall. So, I walked right into it and smacked my face and body on the glass. A male security guard witnessed this charming display and couldn't help but chuckle. I blushed in a heated red, smiled, and got the hell out of there fast.
I can recall several instances where I slipped and fell on the icy snow-covered concrete sidewalks. I was on my ass. Full butt contact with the cold and wet ground. My first instinct was never to see if I was at all hurt...it was to immediately scan the near perimeters to make sure no one saw me. I'd look to my left, to my right, across the street, everywhere. I'd consider myself lucky if nobody saw or got a giggle out of me being a bumbling idiot.
I used to be embarrassed when I was 12 years old and didn't get my first period yet while other girls in my class did. I wanted to be woman. A full-fledged woman with a monthly flow. Oh god that sounds so damn corn-flaky it belongs on a cereal box. Well, one day when I was around 12 and a half, I did get my period. The very first day I went into the girl's bathroom as a "woman", I wrapped my "Always For Teens" pad in the pretty lavendar plastic wrapper and proudly disposed of it in the bathroom stall metal garbage container. I stepped out of the bathroom stall and some girls were talking about their periods. I smiled wide and declared, "I got mine too! Mine is in the purple wrapper." (Sidenote: Isn't this oh-so-interesting?!) After that glorious first day, I have dreaded my period ever since. The blood, the threat of staining, the concealed pads in your purse and backpack. The possibility a boy might notice.
I have been embarrassed all my life (until now) because my family constantly asked me at every family gathering if I had a boyfriend. The answer would always be,"No...not yet." They would make it sound like there was something wrong with me...that I should be dating...should be more of a social butterfly. Sometimes I'd lie and say, "Yes...I kinda have one." But that didn't really work either because then they'd want more details. I'd think to myself, "Shut the hell up...it's none of your damn business. I'll date when I wanna date!"
Embarrassing moments...the list will always be unmercifully added upon because life likes to get a laugh every now and then.