I once asked M. if he was ever jealous of me. He answered, "No. Never."
I was disappointed. A bit angry.
I told M. that sometimes I want him to be jealous.
Then he said that was a very wrong thing to wish for. To him, jealousy is the feeling a person experiences when he/she feels a threat to his/her intimate relationship with a person. Jealousy brings hurt and distrust. It is a mind game. It is manipulation. It does not belong in a healthy relationship.
This explanation made sense. I never even thought of jealousy like that. I then told him I used the wrong term. I did not want him to be jealous of me. I just sometimes wished he would feel mad when other guys noticed me or hit on me. That I was attractive and desirable to other men.
To that he said that he ALWAYS DOES get possessive of me when situations like those happen (which is true...whenever a guy looks at me in an interested manner, M. will give him the "evil eye"...the she-is-my-wife-so-keep-your-eyes-and-hands-and-thoughts-away-from-her-NOW!-type of masculine stare. Or he might say something to him to show that he's not going to put up with any comments or looks....ALL of which I appreciate from M. I like it when he gets a little possessive of me. It shows that he loves me and wants to protect what we have).
But M. explained that he does not get "JEALOUS" of me because he knows that I would NEVER be unfaithful to him...that I love HIM and only HIM. As a result, there is no basis for any trace of jealousy...no feeling of threat to our relationship. He trusts me. He loves me. I trust him. I love him.
What he feels when other guys notice me is just the pissed-off feeling...because he knows how men are like...what they are thinking...that they sometimes don't care if a woman is married.
When he told me all this, it was like a revelation. I now understand why he doesn't get jealous of me. Because it is true...what he said about me and how I am like...my character...my love for him...it is all the truth.