M. went to work a couple of hours late today. We cuddled in our warm bed this morning. We could not bear leaving one another. We slept in for a few extra hours, had a delicious breakfast of hot sausage links, eggs, toast, and cold orange juice, and watched most of Road Trip on cable. He then took his shower, kissed me and D. goodbye, and then drove off to work around 1 P.M.
After taking my shower I went downstairs to check for any mail. I heard music playing on the first floor. I wondered if M. was still home for some reason. He was not home, but I saw a Mazzy Star So Tonight That I Might See cd case laying on the desk and the cd was playing on the computer. The mail must have arrived before he went to work since the cd was one of the items ordered from a music club. I heard the sweet, slow, and dream-like music coming in waves through the speakers and I suddenly felt an ache. The music made me think of him. I missed him terribly at that moment. The music was a trace of him that he had left before leaving. He was there not too long ago and he kept the music playing. I wonder if he left the cd playing "just because." He does that sometimes...he leaves a cd playing on the computer even if he is not there. Or did he leave the music there for me...because sooner or later he knew I would go downstairs for something...like put D. down for his afternoon nap and then play on the computer for a while?
Either way, it just made me miss him so much...made me want him to be there to kiss and hold closely.