How do I feel about guys that look at me? I can feel one/combination/all of the following :
-flattery
-annoyance
-appreciation that I can attract attention
-pissed
-happiness
-degradation
It's fine if you look and just leave it at that. When you look, try to keep it on my face though. Otherwise I might get pissed if I catch you looking at my butt or whatever else. It's still fine if you say hello to me. I will usually say hello back with a smile. But, don't talk to me in a leering tone. That gets me angry. And DON'T say degrading things to me or whistle at me or cat-call me. Then I will be VERY VERY MAD. It's unacceptable. I don't like it. It makes me want to crawl and hide under my blankets. Leave me alone. I'm not a piece of meat.
In general, I think it's nice that guys notice me. It's good to know you're still attractive. It has nothing to do with M...I'd never cheat on him...I have no desire to. I love him and want ONLY him. But, who DOESN'T like attention from other people every once in a while?
M. is very protective of me. If a guy just looks at me he'll give off vibes, like "Don't look at my wife" stares. He'll hold me even closer to him as we walk on by whomever is staring or making a comment to me, even if it's just a hello. M. says he's not jealous...he's just protective. I understand the difference. Jealousy occurs when a person is scared of losing another person to someone else. Since we both know that we will always be faithful to each other, that is why he is never jealous. When I see a cute guy, I will look for a while. But, the feeling is hardly ever sexual or lustful. It's just that I am looking at a cute guy. It's like a fact..."Oh he is cute." And that is all there is to it when it comes to other guys. And if a cute guy notices me, I will be flattered. Who wouldn't??
But, I'm a completely different story. I feel jealous of other girls when it comes to M. I know that he'd never mess around on me, but I know that he looks at pretty girls and women. And again, like I mentioned in a previous entry, all guys are like that...if not all..MOST at least. He will be faithful because he doesn't really want to (he loves me), he knows I will be hurt (I'd DIE inside), and he'd be hurt as well because he will have to live with the remorse that he threw away our love...a gift that is beyond precious and beautiful.
On a lighter note, hell, even I fantasize about other women in a sexual way...so how can I expect him to never look at other women again? It's an impossible request and an even more impossible thing to grant. Women are just so beautiful and sexy and everything. How can you not notice a gorgeous woman???
I need to mention that I have NEVER had any intimate contact with any girl/woman. I don't know why I have never done anything. Reality might be too weird as compared to fantasy I'd suppose. And I know that I could never fall in love with a woman. I might find her sexually desirable, but I could never LOVE her. I could only love a man. And I love M. more than anything. {:O).
I don't know...Perhaps I WOULD have experimented with girl if I went back into my past before I got married. But, I really don't think I would have gone through with anything. I think it's just that I can really appreciate a female body in all its sexual glory.
And I don't consider myself bisexual. I've never done anything with a girl. I just find them yummy. Hehe. I'm a non-practicing bisexual. Hehehehehe...crazy.