Do you constantly compare yourself to other girls/women? Do you feel better when you are the most attractive woman in the room? Do you feel self-conscious and/or envious of women who are more attractive than you? If you were the most gorgeous woman out there, would you still check out other women?
I'd like to know what you think because my answer to all of those questions is "YES!" And I really can't stand that I am that way. I am fairly attractive (don't beat me over the head...I am not overly conceited...just a bit...hehe), but I know I could look even better. I could look even slimmer if I exercised a bit and watched what I ate more carefully. But, I have no willpower whatsoever. I love food and I hate exercise. I remember when I was nursing David and I wore a size 0 jeans. Size 0!! Now I wear a more average size 5-7, depending on the brand of jeans. Now, size 5-7 is slim, but I know I could definately tone myself up. And I want to be healthy physically because not only do you look better but you feel better. I have to get some motivation going. It's so difficult though. I envy those women out there who can muster up the energy and drive to wake up early and work out for like 2 hours. DAMN!! The hard part is starting for me. If I started, maintaining wouldn't be that hard. I gotta get my ass moving.
It's so weird to me that every woman (at least almost every woman)compares herself to other women. Most men don't do that. M. says he never compares himself to another guy. He is who he is. He is satisfied with himself. That outlook must be so freeing, so wonderful. Guys are lucky this way. Women always look at other women's bodies, hair, makeup, clothes. "Is she better-looking than me?? Will he notice her? Does he think she's gorgeous??" It sucks being a girl sometimes.
Another thing. I notice a lot more women now that I am with M. Having a guy means you are protective of him and you might get jealous, even if there's nothing to be jealous about. Before I was with M., I was only envious of women who were prettier than me. Now, I am jealous of women who even aren't prettier than me. I don't even know if jealous is the correct description. Like I said, notice is probably more fitting. I am just more aware of ALL women because I want to be the most beautiful woman in the room so M. won't notice any other girl.
M. notices other women. Heck, even I know that men are like that, always scoping out other women if just in appreciation of the female form. Hell, I admit I think the female body is beyond sexy. But M. always assures me that he loves ME and only wants ME and that I am the most beautiful woman to him. And I believe him thoroughly. But, I just can't help feeling this way. It is frustrating.